Canada Sevens at BC Place

Rugby is one of the three most popular sports in South Africa – the other two being soccer and cricket. So, when the only other South Africans you know in Canada, invite you to go and watch the Canada Sevens, you figure you might as well; even if only to do something that reminds you of home and for the opportunity to meet other South Africans. Neither my husband nor I are big rugby fans. We watch the occassional rugby game, but we are not die-hard supporters. Most of our family would actually consider themselves rugby fans. So when we announced that we would be attending the Canada Sevens, our families were both surprised and envious…

The Canada Sevens is an annual rugby tournament that takes place every March. It is held at BC Place. BC Place is a multi-purpose stadium located at the north side of False Creek, in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada and is currently the home of the BC Lions of the Canadian Football League (CFL). The stadium also served as the main stadium for the 2010 Winter Olympics and 2010 Paralympics, which Vancouver hosted.

Construction on the stadium started in April 1981, and the stadium was opened a little over two years later on June 20th, 1983. At the time of its completion in 1983, the stadium was the world’s largest air-supported domed stadium until May 4th, 2010 when it was deflated for the last time in preparation for the erection of its new retractable roof.

BC Place is British Columbia’s largest and most versatile venue; with capacity for 54 500 people. The cable-supported fabric roof is the largest of its kind in the world – designed and engineered specifically for Vancouver’s climate. BC Place is able to hold events in comfort all year round. The annual events hosted at the stadium contribute more than $100 million in economic activity.

According to BC Place’s website, the retractable roof over BC Place is a technological marvel. The retractable centre portion of the roof measures approximately 100m x 85m – effectively covering the area of the entire playing surface. Seated guests remain covered – rain or shine. The roof takes approximately 20 minutes to open or close, and before any major event, weather conditions and other circumstances are taken into consideration, to decide whether the roof will be kept open or closed during an event.

A view of the retractable roof from inside the stadium
BC Place is illuminated from 06:00 am to sunrise, and from sunset to 23:00 pm on most nights. On event nights, the roof and Northern Lights Display are lit until the conclusion of the event.

It was a spectacular sunny day on the day of the Canada Sevens, but the roof was kept closed, because despite the sunshine, it was still relatively cold outside. It was about 8 degrees Celcius outside and given the outrageous nature of some of the costumes that some of the fans chose to wore, this was perhaps a wise choice. Otherwise these fans would probably have enjoyed the day a little less. The stadium is surprisingly warm inside, despite it being an open-air stadium. We took off our jackets and scarfs upon arrival, and did not really feel a chill until much later in the afternoon.

When you arrive at the stadium, you can immediately see why it is a popular venue choice. The place is well layed out and a lot of thought has gone into, not just the roof, but also the concession stands and bathrooms. What was particularly nice for us, visiting with a toddler, is the family bathrooms that allow parents and small children to use the same facilities together. Not only are these family bathrooms well-situated between the other bathrooms, but there are officials who also point them out to you if they see you have a small child with you.

Large screens in the stadium allow you to see everything that is happening on the ground, no matter where you are seated in the stadium. The event organisers put a lot of effort into ensuring that fun is had by all, with music and roaming cameras looking to zoom in on people dancing, and finding colourful ways to express their support for their respective teams. That being said, the fun is never allowed to get out of hand. When buying drinks from the concession stands, you are only allowed a maximum of two drinks per person at any one time; effectively ensuring that no-one can get too drunk and curbing any unruly behaviour that might stem from uncontrolled drinking.

Safety officers also ensure that people have fun without endangering their safety or that of other people. If someone tries to hang over a railing for example, a safety officer will come and have a friendly chat. And these chats are friendly and civil. Something that is rare to observe, since people tend to get out of hand at stadiums in South Africa, and many sport events often end in fighting or violent outbursts of some sort, simply because people have gone overboard and drank too much.

Deciding which team to support during each match, was at times easy and other times proved more tricky. We sat with fellow South Africans and screamed at the top of our lungs when South Africa was playing.  What was amazing though, was the sense of cameraderie that we also shared regarding team Canada. We found we could support our new home with the same amount of gusto and enthusiasm. In most instances, since our arrival here, we have been welcomed with warmth, sincerity and kindness. Canadians are genuinely nice and kind people and if I had to support a team other than South Africa, nothing made me prouder, than being able to support this kind and generous nation.

I think the best game for the day was actually the game between Canada and the US. The stadium was roaring with Canadian fans who bellowed a loud “boo!” in unison every time the US team scored a try and leapt off their seats and burst into song every time the Canadian team scored. Unfortunately, Canada lost. But it only put a damper on things for a few short seconds, before people burst out into song and dance again and continued being merry and very, very silly, but in a really good way.

Despite my general lack of interest in the game of rugby itself, I haven’t had this much fun since we left home. It was awesome being among entusiastic spectators and observing people having fun without taking anything too seriously. Unfortunately, we did not make any new friends. But that is simply the impracticality of trying to strike up a friendly conversation in a stadium full of screaming rugby fans. For us, that was not the aim of the outing. The aim was to simply enjoy the day for what it was – good clean fun and merriment.

It was with a small note of sadness that we walked back to the train station to catch the train home that evening at 18:30, because we realised how we actually felt safe despite the hour of the day and the crowd of people pouring out of the stadium. It was with a heavy heart that we had to admit that we never felt this safe leaving a stadium after an event in South-Africa. Noticing the clean city streets and how people just let each other be – how someone who had had too much to drink could prop himself up against a wall and sleep off the worst of his inebriation without any threat to his safety or his life, made me feel a little sad.

Listening to conversations had by fellow South-Africans in the stands, we realised that we were not alone in what we felt since we arrived in Canada. People miss home every day. They miss their friends and families and they feel sad on happy days like these, because they do not get to share it with those they love. But the fear and the sense of desperation you often feel in South Africa, is the thing that convinces them to stay; even on the days when the burden of their loneliness and their longing for something familiar becomes unbearable.

P. S. For the die-hard rugby fans and team South Africa supporters, you can watch seven of the best tries from the Canada Sevens here.

The homesickness stuckness loop

It is difficult to explain to people who have not experienced it first-hand, how debilitating home-sickness can be. That gut-wrenching, soul-twisting, downward-spiralling, deep pit of darkness you transcend into that disarms you at the weirdest times of the day. During the times when you feel homesick, you get stuck in this loop of past memories that are so overwhelming that you cannot even take in what is happening around you in the present. You don’t notice the elements in your new environment that could be elements of awe, excitement and inspiration, because your despair is so deep and overwhelming that it removes you from the space you’re in and allows you to travel thousands of miles and many oceans in an instant. In your mind’s eye you can see, smell, taste and touch home… And you imagine that the memories of home will always be better than anything that can happen in the present.

Why does homesickness have this effect? It is simple, we are creatures of habit and anything that is familiar seems safe and better than anything that is new or different or unfamiliar. When you move to a new country, you are informed that you are “starting a new life“. You, and everyone else of course, anticipate that your “new life” is going to be better than the one you are living now. But are you starting a new life, or simply continuing your life on a different path?

Martin Seligman* believes a more apt name for our species would be Homo Prospectus, because we thrive by considering our prospects. Anticipating the future, both consciously and unconsciously, is a central function of our brains. This way of looking at our psychological make-up, is of course very different to how psychologists and neuroscientists have looked at us up to now. For the past century most researchers have assumed that we’re prisoners of the past and the present. But it is becoming clear that the mind is mainly drawn to the future, not driven by the past. Seligman explains that learning does not occur through the storage of static memories, but rather through the continual imagining of future possibilities.

When a hugely upsetting emotional event – like moving to the other side of the world – happens, what sets us into a downward spiral of depression, is not so much the weirdness and unfamiliarity of our present circumstances, but rather the expectation that this uncomfortable situation might not improve and that we could potentially be “stuck” in this unpleasantness indefinitely. As a consequence we also start re-framing our memories of past events and convince ourselves that these were in fact much better than they might actually have been.

Here is why depression and homesickness can make matters worse. Seligman explains that the depression and anxiety inhibit our ability to be optimistic about the future. Studies have shown depressed people have a tendency to imagine fewer positive scenarios while overestimating future risks. As an Ennea 6, I tend to think strategically and anticipate events in advance, but I also tend to worst-case-scenario things. My propensity to fall into a pit of anxiety and depression is thus often stronger than it is for most other people. Any disruption in routine that breaks connections that I have meticulously and carefully built, pushes me into the claws of depression.

I agree with Seligman that memories of past traumas are not what cause anxiety.  From my own personal experience I can say that I have emerged stronger from difficult events in my life. I think that the main reason why people who have gone through trauma tend to imagine fewer positive scenarios and overestimate what could go wrong, is because they have not consciously become aware of the meta skills they have acquired that enabled them to survive their past traumas in the first place. We often survive difficult situations without ever really consciously understanding our own psychologies and HOW we did it.

To understand the unconscious mental processes taking place when we are in difficult situations requires the mental and emotional ability to “step back” from the situation and observe what is happening to us mentally and emotionally. What are we thinking and why? What are we feeling and why? This is not an easy task, because it requires quietening the mind and accessing the observer and trusting your instincts about what you are experiencing (something that is very difficult for a Ennea 6 to to).

When homesickness becomes debilitating, it is sometimes difficult to remember our own resilience and adaptability. Life presents us with these times of discomfort to stretch us and help us grow. So when it becomes difficult to focus on anything else but home, then make contact with someone at home. Vent and cry and then find something new and different but exciting or fun to do in your new environment to remind yourself why you are on this journey in the first place. Pretty soon, this unfamiliar place becomes a little less strange and a little more familiar. Whether it will ever be home, is another matter. We shall have to wait and see.

*You can read about Martin Seligman’s latest research here.

Searching for the Sun

So you wake up and there is literally no sun to wake you and help you start your day. The pain and exhaustion of homesickness is felt in every cell of your body. You feel run down and tired. You feel lost, and empty, and alone. The festivities that surrounded Christmas are all gone and the novelty of the snow is wearing off and suddenly you miss home. You miss having something familiar to cling to.

You miss early morning runs at 05:00 on summer mornings; your feet hitting the tar, the fresh air in your chest, seeing the sun rise, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin and the thrill of completing a long run, the sweat on your skin, the dull ache in your legs and that feeling of satisfaction of knowing that you beat the lazy bug and got up and did something worthwhile with your day.

You miss sitting in your garden listening to the birds, feeling the warm sun on your skin and the soft grass under your feet. You miss lazy summer days and having a braai with friends.

You miss seeing your favourite band playing at your favourite spot or having a cappuccino at your local coffee shop. You miss brunch with your best friends talking about politics, religion, philosophy and everything in between…

You miss visiting the cinema and watching some philosophical film that makes you question everything you know. You miss sharing your latest music finds with friends and family and debating what the best songs or movies of all time are.

You miss snuggling up to your loved one and watching your favourite show in the peace and quiet of your home…You miss the noise of the pipes and the leaking of the roof and the cats wreaking havoc in the yard and dragging their kills into the house to show you.

You miss going to your favourite hatha yoga class; quietening the mind, focusing on your breathing, feeling your muscles stretch and taking in the splendour of a quiet mind…

You miss Sunday evening blues, and French toast and Rooibos tea and laughing until it hurts…

You miss working for hours until your back and head hurts, but feeling more alive than you have in years. You miss talking to someone who gets you; who knows what makes you tick and who loves you for it.

You miss all these things and more. But for now they are part of a past life, a life that sometimes feels like a distant dream. I life that resembles a place you used to know that feels very, very far away right now. Perhaps you have to know the bitter before you can truly appreciate the sweet. Perhaps you have to know the immense pain of a broken heart to truly understand the heart that is filled to the brim with joy… Perhaps you have to feel this longing and this emptiness now so that you will remind yourself to indulge in every precious second spent on those things you long for most when you finally have them again…